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"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Sam Keen

5 reasons to consider working with a trained couple’s therapist:

1. Couples therapy is an effective way to heal emotional injuries from your past or injuries that have occurred in your current relationship. Emotional healing can inoculate the relationship and prevent problems in the future.


2. Couples therapy can help partners learn effective problem solving and communication skills that carry over to benefit how we relate to other important people in our lives.

3. Couples therapy allows the opportunity to consult with a trained professional who works from a place of objectivity and can see both sides. Friends and family members may be good sounding boards and have good intentions, but they do not always remain biased.

4. Couples therapy can help you determine how much you are vested, and indeed, whether or not you want to be with your partner. You married a partner because you love them. No matter what’s happened, it's worth trying to reconcile before departing.

5. Couples therapy is an alternative to divorce or separation. While some marriages simply don't work, many relationships suffer from misunderstandings and unhealthy dynamics – all of which can be resolved. Working with a trained couple’s therapist is an opportunity to save your marriage and create healthier dynamics at home for everyone.

Regardless of how healthy the relationship, many couples seek counseling to improve their relationship and strengthen their connection. For others, there may be an urgent need for professional intervention as partner’s can no longer navigate the usual ups and downs that most relationships go through. Ans left too long, chronic conflict and tension can give way to partner’s feeling dissatisfied and disappointed with each other.

Unresolved and ongoing conflict can take a heavy toll and eventually divide, distance and disconnect us. Couples in distress will often report a variety of emotional and physical symptoms that include exhaustion, anger, and resentment to numbness, helplessness and despair. Without professional intervention, creating an emotionally safe dialogue whereby both partners feel heard and understood is nearly impossible.

On the other hand, some couples may show no signs of direct conflict or emotional distress.  Yet, what often lies beneath the surface, are years of unspoken tensions, emotional withdrawal and isolation. Avoidance behaviors that may have served to “keep the peace” and mitigate feelings of discomfort just creates more avoidance. When partners stop demonstrating kindness, understanding and a willingness to safely and openly communicate, emotional distancing ensues.

Achieving a fulfilling relationship and a successful marriage depends on a number of factors. Good communication, clear insight about oneself, openness to understanding your partner, flexibility and negotiation skills are a good place to start. Ultimately, given a willingness to work with your partner along with the support of a trained couples therapist you can, once again, experience the best of your partner and recreate a mutually satisfying relationship.

Stephanie Burchell PhD

Take the free Couples Challenge Assessment

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